Frida Kahlo to Marty McConnell
by Marty McConnell
leaving is not enough; you must
stay gone. train your heart
like a dog. change the locks
even on the house he’s never
visited. you lucky, lucky girl.
you have an apartment
just your size. a bathtub
full of tea. a heart the size
He: Why are we going town? Anything you want to do?
She: I wana shop a little. And- (She looked at him, trying to decide if he really needed a reminder) We’re gonna celebrate my birthday early since you’ve got to be at work on the real day.
He: oh yeah! We need dinner. A drink or two to celebrate. I’m sorry i didn’t get you a gift.
She: It’s okay. It’ll be surprising if you remembered. You are, after all, busy building up your business.
He: Dinner. We will have dinner.
Two hours later, heart heavy, she picked clothes up and tried them but put them back because she didn’t really have the money or the mood to buy them. He had straightaway gone off to the men’s section to see the prices of the clothes and compare them to the prices back in his country (realized that it’s much cheaper back home). She stepped out of the dressing rooms and saw him. She gave him a small smile and went up with him to tell him she was done.
He: Not buying?
She: Not today.
They had dinner at a common bar. Finger food polished off with an Irish pint. ‘Isn’t much of a birthday dinner. But he is staying the night instead of catching the next plane home after his meeting. I guess i should be thankful for this.’
On her real birthday day in her own country’s timing, she didn’t receive a call or text frm him. ‘I believe he used to remember 2 yrs ago. Last year, i don’t know, but this year i don’t know why i’m expecting so much,’ she thought to herself. She smiled at her colleagues who wished her and replied aquaintances’ wishes on Facebook.
She decided to msg him to contact a local florist and ask them to deliver flowers for the fun of it. He actually replied - not using the busy business excuse - and asked for her address and added that he will try but could not promise because it was already late afternoon and he didn’t know if they would still deliver. She noted the unwillingness - or rather his practicism, upon which, which florist closed at 4pm on a Friday in any country?- and just agreed with him and told him she was joking. He apologized and said that he should have thought of it, and she replied that she knew he was busy with other more important thoughts.
She didn’t know what being pampered and spoilt was like so she gave him avenues for excuses. And when he didn’t provide them, she provided them for him.
Yet all she wanted were flowers. From a man she hadn’t yet given her heart to. On a day where she always felt disappointment’s hug and thought each year it would be different.
He: You think i should shave my stubble? Do you think the call girls will approach me if i leave it?
She: (Sits down, waiting) Really? You’re going to care so much about your appearance so that you can talk to some call girls? Sure. Pretend i’m not here.
He: You can have my heart. I’ll give them my body for a day.
She: I can’t wait to forget what you just said.
He: You think i should go alone? Will they approach me if you’re with me?
She: You should go alone. I don’t think i’ll want to be there too.
He: You sure? Maybe you’ll have as much fun as i will!
She rolled her eyes and yawned. He didn’t remember that her birthday was two hours away although they had been dating for three years. But she couldn’t mind. She didn’t love him enough to raise a scene.
After all, he lived more than 8,000 miles away and they only met each other twice or thrice a year. ‘A birthday party is nothing compared to seeing him excited to meet call girls,’ she thought to herself, amused.
I love you.
I love you because i can.
Because I want to.
because I want to love someone and you’re here.
Because I need to.
because I need to love someone to prove my worth.
Because I have to.
because I have to show you how much you mean to me.
I love you,
because there’s no reason not to.
- Fatally Yours, Kyra Davis
- Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara (Bollywood movie, 2012)